Friends You Need To Let Go Of

In life we come into contact with many people, some become life long friends others are only here for a short ride. Many people hold on to friendships because they are scared to let go you think about how you’ve been friends forever. You can’t give up on someone because what if they gave up on you? But sometimes you have to break up with friends because it is causing you pointless problems that add stress to your life. Here are some friends that you likely have in your life that you need to let go:

1. The Frenemy- This friend is one you love to hate. They could be friends with your friends or you have known them since high school but there is something off about your relationship. They seem to be rooting for your successes but they are secretly cheering inside when you fail. When something great happens to you they have to one up your accomplishment with one of their own. Little things like throwing jabs about your clothes or your physical appearance that leaves you feeling powerless.

This person is the hardest to let go because when she is kind and amazing you see the person you wish she could be all the time. But no one should be friends with someone only when they are true friends half of the time. 

2. Green Monster-  Everyone has dealt with the little green monster commonly known as jealously in their life at one point or another. But when jealously becomes out of control it can sabotage friendships. It can go as far as making you feel bad about yourself so they can feel better about themselves. They use tactics that will hurt you because they are insecure about themselves and feel threatened by you.

3. User- This person only seems to contact you when they need something from you.  You know they only want you for a certain reason but in your mind you may think they genuinely like you but it’s a one-way friendship that is only benefitting one of you.

4. Dirty Ditcher- Just as the name suggests this friend always seems to make plans with you but at the last minute something always comes up. You honestly can’t remember the last time you two have hung out from all the times they cancelled on you. Not only do you end up feeling bad for making plans that never follow through it wastes your time and energy that you could be using for someone who actually cares.

5. Self-Centered- This person’s motto is it’s their way or the highway, which basically means it’s all about them or no friendship at all. No relationship or friendship will sustain the test of time if one person makes all the decisions and only cares about themselves.

Even though it’s good to be a little selfish there has to be some give and take in relationships of all kinds. It can’t be about you 24/7 because that is painfully annoying for everyone else to have to deal with.

 6. Drama Queen- We think that when we leave high school we get rid of all the stupid drama. Then it becomes after college but we truly never get rid of the drama when we become adults. These people bring unnecessary drama to your life. Between causing problems this person probably talks about nasty about everyone and everything.

I can bet you that she’s talking about you behind your back as well.

7. The Limiter- As life goes on people change into the people they were meant to be but some people want you to stay exactly the way you were. These people limit your growth as a person because they are afraid of what your going to become and by changing you may grow apart.

It sounds sweet that this friend doesn’t want you to grow apart but by them not letting you grow your missing out on the person who you were meant to become. 

Ways That You're Painfully Single

1. You're always the single one out of your friends

2. While everyone is texting people when your just hanging out you just scroll through Twitter or Instagram hoping for a text

3. When you finally get a text from someone your ecstatic until you realize it’s from your mom

4. Friends try to set you up with any single guy they know and they end up picking the strangest possible people

5. These same friends love to vicariously live through your stories saying they miss hooking up with random people. (YEP I bet you really miss kissing the guy with long hair and is cross-eyed)

6. You consider Netflix your current boyfriend if anyone asks

7. 5^th Wheel? No problem you know how to entertain yourself by then

8. You don’t even attempt to shave your legs anymore and right now they resemble more of a thorn bush then actual legs

9. The last time you went on a real date was a good three years ago

10.  You have a habit of only liking people with girlfriends

11.  Friends always say the reason you’re alone is because you are so picky

12. Your most popular hour when people text you is on the weekends after 12 a.m.

13. You don’t need to worry about eating clean and looking good all the time. BRING ON THE CARBS BABY!!

I'm No Damsel In Distress

            When did it all become about boys? I guess since cavemen times when the women’s only job was to get a good man to support her.  Since then I don’t know if a lot has changed.

            I was out to lunch with my two friends and the entire time they talked about their boyfriends. How they were going to go to the gym together, how far they’ve gone, what their favorite color was and so on. I barely said a word. You know why because I’m single. My friends didn’t ask me about anything any writing I’ve been doing or how my life is. It seemed the meeting was assigned to only talk about guys especially their guys.  

            Why can’t people just enjoy each other and ask about their lives not including men. Come on were in our early 20’s and you act like having a guy is the center of your world. I feel bad for the women who only want a guy in their life nothing else. What about education, friends, having fun and all of the other amazing things that life has to offer. But you can only think that you’ll be happy once you have a boyfriend.

            Let me tell you girlfriend that you can’t rely on a person for your happiness because if they disappoint you will be devastated. Putting all your happiness into one person is a big problem. I want women to have aspirations more than having a boyfriend because there is so much to accomplish in the world. Life’s purpose is to live and not to wait in the tower till the prince saves you. 

Three's Company

Doing things with a couple can either go two ways: decently or really really bad. Going to a bar with a couple definitely went the latter way. This is how a night usually goes when you’re with a couple at the bar.

1. Arriving/Getting Drinks-

This is the highlight of the night because your not too drunk yet but your drunk enough. The couple talks to you while waiting for drinks and if your lucky your score a free drink from your friends boyfriend because who would be so cruel to buy a drink for two and forget the lonely one.

2. Dancing Begins-  

As you start to feel your vodka crans your thinking dancing seems like a pretty good idea right about now. But how does this work? Do all three of you dance together? And how would that even work? Or do you just dance by yourself while the couple dancing with each other?

Dancing by yourself isn’t too bad sometimes guys will come dance with you other times they probably think you’re a weirdo who dances alone.

3. Sympathy-

Ultimately you have to know that your going to be hanging out with yourself even if they are one of those cool couples that try to keep you included. This makes you feel like a complete loser because you know from their puppy dog eyes and both of them trying to dance with you that they feel bad for you.

You already feel bad that your out alone with no friends and no boyfriend so thanks for making me feel like I’m Shrek.

4. Trying To Find People-

You want to try to find other people you know but their all couples. Couples Everywhere!! It’s also an issue at the bar when you can’t see from the massive crowds of people in your way and the smoke that conceals everyone’s face.  I always try to seem like I’m looking for someone because it gives me a purpose. Friends lose each other all the time they don’t need to find out I’m trying to find some people to hangout with other than the lovely couple.

5. Third Wheeling-

Meanwhile the couple is in their own little world, who knows if they even realize your still there when they try to slow dance to Timber or when they don’t stop kissing. When the couple your with start kissing you end up awkwardly standing next to them not knowing what to do.

Is it respectful to turn away? Should you stay on your phone until they stop? But what if they don’t stop? The real question you ask yourself: Is there a certain moment that I can cut into their making out because I’m lonely?

6. Alone/ Leaving-

Somehow you end up alone and drunk not knowing where your couple went. As we all can tell they ditched you to do something better than hangout with the annoying single friend.

During this time you may run into random people that you’ve seen before maybe from the gym or freshmen English class. They immediately become your best friend. You become a parasite attaching yourself to them scared shitless of the moment when they leave you.  Eventually this gets too tiring so you leave walking back to your house alone thinking about getting kidnapped or killed.

Typical night thoughts. 

Liking Your Guy Friends

They see the best of you and they also see the worst of you. When your around them you don’t have to  try you can be yourself. The best part you were friends first before you started liking them.

            

Your feelings may come on suddenly or they might grow slowly but it happens you know. You know when you see them or hangout with them you want to be with them. But questions fill your head like What if he doesn’t like me or What if I ruin our friendship?

            

I have never liked any of my guy friends but one of my friends from school lets call her Alice started talking to one of our guy friends Tyler. It all started good with them hooking up but then it turned sour.  He told her he didn’t want a commitment but ended up leading her on for a long time.

            

As time went by Alice resented Tyler for stringing her along so she ended it. A week later Tyler had a new girlfriend after that moment things between our guy friends would never be the same. I felt like I had to pick a side and obviously I chose Alice’s side but I still cared about Tyler.

            

With picking one side I felt and still feel that my relationship with the boys went downhill because of that relationship. I’m not blaming either one of them for trying because what if it worked out we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.

            

I feel like I can’t be friends with the guys because that shows her that I’m not being loyal to her feelings. It’s a catch 22 I’m damned either way whatever choice I make someone feelings will get hurt. I’m not going to stop being friends with Tyler and all the guys but I have to support my friend.

           

If your friend doesn’t understand you wanting to be friends with their enemy you need to look inside yourself and ask Is this someone you want to be friends with? Because if you can’t understand someone else’s reasons you should evaluate if you want this person in your life still.

Push Past It

I love awkward moments like when you don't know anyone in your classes or your alone at the bar because it forces you to push past your boundaries. This makes you realize that you are capable of so much more then you give yourself credit for.

As much I love being with my friends I secretly like being on my own. From being thrust into certain situations I have more confidence in myself because I just go for things that I wouldn't have in the security blanket of my friends. So instead of waiting for that cute guy to come up to you at a party go up to him or if you want to talk to the person next to you in Chem just do it. You don't need your friends or anyone else to do what you want.

Some people need reassurance to do things and that is alright but not all the time because if you always rely more on others than yourself you will be disappointed a lot. Were not five years old needing training wheels, we have to act like adults and live our life accordingly.

I'm not going to lie sometimes my tactics don't work and I look like an idoit. But that's okay at least I tried that is more then other people do. When a risk pays off it is the greatest feeling and that open you up to try even more. It's like a domino affect that never ends. As Eleanor Roosevelt said "You must do the things you think you cannot do" 

Signs You Over think Too Much

There are some people who don't really go into the little details in life and then there are the opposite of that, the people who analyze every single thing. I'm unfortunately that type of person and here are some things that me and all the other over thinkers are guilty of:

1. Falling asleep at night is a struggle because random thoughts pop into your mind by the second and you can't fall asleep until you figure it out. Like trying to remember that girl's name who sat next you in the fifth grade. You know it's pointless information but you HAVE to know this person name or it will be the death of you. Or when you start thinking about the following day and what you have to do which basically causes anxiety and nervousness from the all the stuff you have to accomplish.

2. Your friends know that if you haven't contributed to the conversation they assume your deep in thought about something. Which for the most part is true.

3. In order to stay organized you have to make multiple lists of what needs to be done for the day. This includes what time to eat, workout, socialize. Yes that does sound crazy but it works but you don't want to be there if something wasn't checked off the list because I'm going to explode.

4. You think about the past decisions on the regular. Did I make the right decision? Would I be the person I am today without making that choice? These are questions I normally ask myself.

5. When your friends tell you about their problems you automatically imagine you were in their place and come up with scenarios about what you would do.

6. If you see people looking at you while out anywhere you instantly think that something is on your face or something has to be wrong with you.

7. When someone you know subtweets you think that it's about you even you didn't do anything wrong.

8. You analyze what people say face to face or through text. "He sent heyy with two y's what does that mean?" Little things that others don't pay attention to you obsess over it like it's a secret code or something.